God and Adam
At the beginning of
time, God commanded "Be still!"
and the chaos and tempests withdrew.
He created the skies, the seas and the earth,
and everything He touched was brand new.
He laboured six days,
then wondered, "What now?"
as round the Garden of Eden he strolled,
when, all of a sudden, Adam appeared,
all cocky, and arrogant, and bold.
"Now then, my lad!
Are you settling in?
"Is there owt else I can do while I'm here?"
"I could do with a mate, and a football or two
"and advice on how to make beer."
"Ey up," said God,
"I'm gaffer round here."
"Thou was," said Adam, with a smile.
"Now get that mate of mine made, and fetch us a drink,
"then make yourself scarce for a while!"
"By heck," thought
God. "What on earth have I done?
"Paradise has trouble and strife!
"But I'll do as He says, and grant him a mate,
"Maybe he'll settle down with a wife!"
"Shazam!" shouted the
Almighty, and stroked Adam's side,
and Eve appeared, naked and grand.
God smiled at the pair with benevolent eyes
but warned: "That tree over yonder is banned."
Now, Adam's young
mate was a feisty young lass,
and she fancied the fruit that was banned.
"Pass us that apple and I'll give you a treat,"
and she winked, and offered Adam her hand.
"By heck," said Adam.
"My luck's in tonight."
And leaned forward to give her a kiss.
And Eve quickly realised: "He'll do owt that I want,
"I'll not get many chances like this."
So she gave him a
peck, then a cuddle, then more,
as she taught him the pleasures of love.
She'd quickly discovered, in affairs of the heart,
that Adam would need a good shove.
God returned to His
heaven where He's seated on high,
and He watched them bonk themselves silly,
and from that moment on, the dawn of mankind,
Woman has led Man by his willy.